


Broke

by SisterDuffin



Category: Casualty (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 18:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19431754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SisterDuffin/pseuds/SisterDuffin
Summary: In the mist of her battle with depression, Duffy finds comfort at a familiar grave. [Disregards the Dementia storyline]





	Broke

She knew a bottle of vodka and her antidepressants weren’t a good mix but she just wanted to forget everything for a little while. It was all becoming a bit too much and she was exhausted, she hoped the mixture of the two would knock her out and allow her to sleep for a while. A somewhat peaceful sleep where her demons couldn’t reach her.

She hates the dark. She’s always uncomfortable being alone in the night but that didn’t stop her tonight, from finding her way from the pub, to the off-license and then going to the graveyard. How she’d been able to find her mum’s grave at midnight, half cut and in the dark was somewhat a miracle but she reached it, the headstone.

Duffy sat down (well fell down was more appropriate) the glass bottle of the vodka clanging against the concrete. She tilted her head slightly as she read the name on the headstone and sighed.

“I wish you were here,” she murmured as she took a sip of vodka. “I need you more than anything right now.”

She bit hard against her lower lip, in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. She didn’t want to cry. If she started, she wouldn’t be able to stop.

“I messed up.”

She reaches out and touches the headstone with her fingertips, tracing circles on the stone. She sighed sadly before picking up a flower. She began to pick the petals, nothing said for a minute.

“Oh mum, I don’t know what to do.”

She burst into tears, her body beginning to sob. She wrapped her jacket tighter around herself, the cold air causing her to shiver slightly. She continued to pick the petals of the flower in her hand as her tears stained her cheeks. She’d do anything to receive a hug from her mum now, to hear her comfort her. She cries harder at the memories, it was true what they said. You were never too old for needing your mum.

“I’m so tired mum. So…. broken and tired and I feel so….” she swallowed and stared at the vodka beside her, “lonely.”

She had no right to feel those things though, did she? She had no reason to be depressed. She had a family, a husband and a wonderful job. But that didn’t stop the demons from trying to drown her. She picked up the vodka and unscrewed the lid, taking a couple of mouthfuls.

“I’m so tired.” She murmured again. She was beginning to feel sleepy now from crying as much as she has. She closed her eyes for a moment, her breathing becoming a little calmer.

“I’m scared,” she admitted quietly, “not just of the dark. But of what’s in here.” She tapped the side of her head, her other hand still clutching the vodka bottle. There’s not much liquid left in the bottle, she’s pretty much drank it all on the way here from the off-license.

She finishes the vodka and curls up in a ball on her mum’s grave by the flowers.

“I love you and I’m sorry.” she whispers before she passes out, the empty vodka bottle lying on its side beside her.

Charlie didn’t know what gave him the incline that Duffy was at her mum’s grave but when she failed to come home, he’d gone looking for her. He was worried, it wasn’t like her not to come home and despite been none the wiser to her present mental state; he had a feeling he needed to go and find her. Following the lights of the street lamps, (the few that occupied the dead) he found his way to Kate’s grave.

“Duffy? Sweetheart?” He called when he approached the figure. Getting no reply, he sighed and stepped closer. Only then did he realise she was unresponsive. Bending down beside her, he checked her pulse somewhat relieved that she still had one, (even if it was slow)

“Sweetheart?” His hand brushed against something cold beside her and he picked it up. Reading the label, he sighed. Vodka. So she was drunk and had passed out? He gently shook her again, a little harder than before but she remained out of it and unresponsive. Removing his own jacket, he placed it around her and called an ambulance.

He gently brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her forehead, “wake up for me honey, please.” Charlie swallowed the lump in the back of his throat, his mind wondering if it was just vodka she’d taken or something else?

Waiting for the ambulance seemed like an eternity, as did the journey to the hospital. It was painfully quiet, Charlie’s hand clasped into hers; his thumb running over the back of her hand. Surely if she was just drunk, she’d have woken up by now?

She was asleep all night. The vodka and antidepressants had sedated her but other than that, there was nothing else to be concerned about (her blood results had returned within the normal level indicating she hadn’t taken more than the prescribed amount) Charlie didn’t leave her side once, just sat beside her, holding her hand wondering why he’d never noticed just how much she was struggling.

Duffy stirred for a moment and mumbled, “Love you.”

He smiled sadly, “Love you too.” 


End file.
